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Life is Full of Stressing, Panicking and Crying




Over the last few weeks, my motivation has been crumbling to the point where I can’t even bring myself to write. Which isn’t good when you’re on a writing degree and your whole life revolves around it.

Unfortunately, I can’t say that my motivation has come back. What doesn’t help is the fact that my laptop’s keyboard is breaking. The left side of it doesn’t work. I never realised how many ‘S’s I used before this happened. On the rare occasion, however, it does work. But that doesn’t matter – because my brain hasn’t been working.

I did post two blog pieces on here but deleted them the next day. Due to writer’s block, I just wasn’t happy with them and physically couldn’t be bothered to share them. One piece was actually about my experience with writer’s block. Ironic, I guess.

The stresses of university keep piling up. My degree show was cancelled due to the virus and my graduation ceremony has been postponed. And my first deadline is coming up on the 23rd April. Yeah… not long at all. I’m about to hit a period of complete meltdowns.

University work, however, has been the furthest thing from my mind the last couple of days. My beloved bunny has been quite poorly. Over a few days her energy slowly dropped, and she started eating less. One day, she stopped eating altogether – a huge red flag.

We took her to the vets, and we were told she had gut stasis, a disease that affects how they process food. The vet said we had to keep a close eye on her over the next 24 hours. At this point, I was utterly terrified. In the past, I lost a rabbit to the same disease. To make matters worse, she was refusing to take her medicine.

Things had got worse by the evening. She still hadn’t eaten and was barely moving or reacting to anything. I feared the worst, it seemed that her health was deteriorating right before my eyes. We took her to the emergency vets where we found out her glucose levels were dangerously high. She had to stay in overnight so they could monitor her and give her fluids.

When rabbits are unwell, they don’t show any symptoms due to being prey animals. This obviously causes huge problems as you can’t see that anything is wrong until things have got bad. Once they start showing signs such as not eating, they need to be taken to the vets urgently as things can worsen very quickly. I’m so thankful we did the right thing and took her in.

Going back to the flat afterwards was painful. It felt so cold and empty without her. As I walked in, I almost said hello to her like I usually do. I cried so much, fearing she wouldn’t make it through the night. It was the kind of ugly cry where you can’t even breathe. To some people, she may be “just a rabbit”, but to me, she’s my baby. We’ve only had her since the end of December 2019, but she’s made life so much brighter. She has a wicked attitude and is the most loving bunny you could ever ask for. Losing her would be losing a huge part of me.

Luckily, she’s getting better now and is acting more herself. She’s back home and has been running around and chewing on anything she can get her teeth on. All of my fingers and toes are crossed that she gets through this. All I want is for my normal, happy bunny back. I would give anything for that right now.


Until the next time,

Char. 

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